I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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