well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
