fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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