We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
