how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
