What a fucking waste of an outfit
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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