you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
