just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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