accomplished twins. life is a go
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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