I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
