i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
