She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
