The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
