Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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