Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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