Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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