All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i will never coherently bang her
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
