i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
