it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
