I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
