I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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