i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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