Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
