I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
