Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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