oh god the rape fog is back!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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