I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
