Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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