some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
