Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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