I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
