Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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