All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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