I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
