so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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