how can u be prego again
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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