Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
