Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
