I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
