help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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