sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
