Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
