I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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