Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
is wine microwaveable?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
