Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
