i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
