just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
