I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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