do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
