jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
