you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
