to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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