he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You are the jesus of drinking
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
